I found my long-lost first attempt at a novel…the one I wrote when I was twelve.

It's like a 53,000-word ode to melodrama and fantasy clichés in prose form.
Complete, of course, with a partial Elvish/unicorn dictionary, complete character glossary and pronunciation guide, “A Comprehensive Guide To All the Fantastical Creatures”, six pages of prophetic poetry in ancient Elvish which has no translation, a calendar, elvish numerical system, the complete lineage of 1500 years’ worth of centaur queens (even though only one was ever referenced in the story), and an episode of American Idol.


Reading it now, it's kind of half excited nostalgia and half "I'm-going-to-go-jump-off-a-cliff-and-never-come-back."