The homestretch of the TV/movie/books fast is the most frustrating bit yet.  All day my brain has been weeping in a corner— "Feed me mindless entertainment!  Just half an hour! I don't care what!  Feed me mindless entertainment!"  And I have to be all like, "Shut up, brain.  Jesus is way more awesome than mindless entertainment."  And my brain's like, "Yeah, but all the homework isn't."  And I have to sigh and agree and then we're both moping in a corner.

A crayon in my pocket

Went through the dryer

Flung its staining spots

Over all my attire

Scrub the mistakes out

The sad little speckles

Make them like new

Erase the blue freckles!

Star-crossed freight trains, E. coli, hummingbirds, and a lame duck who may have stepped on a land mine.

How not to use figurative language:

• "John and Mary had never met.  They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
• "The politician was gone but unnoticed, the the period after the 'Dr.' on a Dr Pepper can."
• "The shot rang out, as shots are wont to do."
• "Long separated by cruel fate, the two star-crossed lovers raced across the field, like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at a speed of 55 mph and the other having left Topeka at 4:19 p.m. traveling at a speed of 35 mph."
• "He was as tall as a six-foot three-inch tree."
• "He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like  a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high school about the danger of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."
• "His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling-Free."
• "McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup."
• "The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil.  Unlike Phil, however, this plan might actually work."
• "The little boat drifted gently across the pond, just the way a bowling ball wouldn't."
• "It was very confusing, just like when you're out of state and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 instead of 7:30."
• "It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing children around with power tools."
• "The young fighter looked very hungry, the sort of look you get after not eating for a while."
• "He was as lame as a duck.  And not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something."
• "He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River."
• "He was deeply in love.  Whenever she spoke, he fancied that he could hear bells, just like a garbage truck backing up."
• "He grew on her like he was a colony of E. coli and she was room-temperature Canadian beef."

...This is what we spent the majority of my English class studying this afternoon.  Real creative ridiculosity from real college students.  Don't try this at home, kids.

Also, the fire alarm went off today.  Not the most fun of adventures.  I also witnessed the magic of an erasable pen, which was a fun adventure.

My "just because" gift from a lovely lady—

As of this morning, I own a teapot!  Janet Mueller bought it for me  "just because."  :)  I am über excited about this.  When I was little I wanted a tea set.  I asked for teapots for Christmas and got two doll-size sets (which I still have in my closet), but now I own a real person-size teapot! (And it comes with a teacup.)

According to the box, it was designed in England by a company based in Kentucky, made in China, packaged in Mexico, and sold in the United States.  It's a very well-traveled teapot. 

It has pictures of books and names of classical authors on it, so it seems well time-traveled and literarily versed, also.  I think we'll get on fabulously.

It doesn't have a name yet (I, too, am taking suggestions.  There seems to be an epidemic of incognito teapots going around this week).