Having a fever/upset stomach/constant headache/sore throat/no energy at all was vaguely frustrating when I was sleeping for 22 straight hours, absolutely horrible for four-ish more hours when I wasn't sleeping, a little bit fun when I spent a day and a half doing absolutely nothing but watching television, irritating when I realized I was getting teary-eyed over a show I have contempt for when I'm sane, slightly eerie when I figured out I lost seven pounds in two days, and rather panic-inducing now that I have to get back into the swing of things and my sleep schedule is erratic/currently at least six hours off and I have a whole weekend's worth of homework to do in half a Sunday. It's more homework than the usual weekend's homework, too, because my English professor assigned us two papers instead of one, on top of the usual two math assignments, Economist summary-response paper, sociology readings, and the physics homework that was actually due last Thursday but didn't get done because I was alternately sleeping/throwing up at the time, and studying for the makeup physics test I will hopefully be able to take since I missed taking the actual exam at the same time I missed turning in the homework, for the same reasons.
I'm trying to vent my frustrations without devolving into a virtual quivering, loquacious wad of self-pity. It's extremely difficult. I might be failing, but am not in a very edit-friendly mood, for once.
Possibly-at-least-partially-wasn't-that-a-pretentiously-run-on-opener-because it's five-thirty in the morning and I have not gotten one wink of sleep, and I have to leave the house again in three hours, and I'm scheduled for art and connection counter at church this morning, meaning I have to function with both capable hand-eye coordination and extroverted social skills, and be present and accounted for in both services. And I'm still sick enough to feel totally justified in being exhausted and grumpy, but not quite the stay-home-scot-free level of sick anymore.
Oh, help.
I hate what happened to my life in the last three days.
I'm also trying really hard not to look ahead to the month of double-time homestretch-of-the-semester academic fun I'm stepping into on Monday (e.g, trying not to curl up into a literal sobbing and terrified wad of very-not-loquacious self-pity). And I'm also trying really hard not to revert back to dwelling endlessly on all those giant bigger-than-me issues happening in the world around me that really and truly outrage me (I'm refraining. I'm refraining…)
I'm seriously whining. Yes. Sorry. IAMJUSTVERYUNHAPPYRIGHTNOW.
:( That really sucks, Kiersten. I know that you're going to get through it, even though everything looks overwhelming right now. You can do this. I love you a whole lot, and I can't wait to see you next weekend.
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