summer so far

is not as stress-free as I was hoping for.
I'm not being productive, which was nice for a few days, and now I'm feeling slightly horrible.  I'm being somewhat productive nonproductively (i.e., taking a break in rejuvenating ways, like reading) but also in eughwhwhwwheehh ways (like watching TV shows I don't really care about, just because I can),and that's what feels rotten.
I'm also sleeping a lot.  Like, staying up semi-late, until perhaps two a.m., and then sleeping until noon or two p.m., for no observable reason.  And then I still feel tired and yawn a lot later.
I also have this weird sensation of not knowing anything.  Like, my brain's gotten used to exerting itself all the time, and now that it doesn't have to, I feel rather set adrift.  Maybe I genuinely miss writing papers, even though I had to write a couple dozen of them in the last few weeks of the semester and I was sick to death of them then.  Essays = quantifiable output of creative brainpower.
I'm not really hanging out with my friends any more than before, even though we theoretically all have more free time.  And that sucks, because that always happens to me in the summer, and I hate it.
I have emails I need to reply to, and emails I need to write, and they're not urgent, but still kind of important, because I want to be a good person and not leave emails unanswered.  I've put them off just long enough to make replying awkward, and I have no excuse except that I historically am terrible at replying to anything in a timely manner.
I need to clean my room and do laundry and start throwing out/reorganizing/packing things for the move, which is in like two months  O_O

But I want a break.
But I want to do things.
I have writer's block, which always sucks, and right now it sucks more than usual because I have time and mental energy to devote to writing in earnest for the first time in weeks and I can't think of anything I can take seriously.

THERE IS SO MUCH I COULD BE ACCOMPLISHING AND I'M NOT AND THIS APPLYING-FOR-JOBS THING SCARES THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF ME AND I JUST GENERALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.

Also, I ate too much brie cheese earlier and now I have a stomachache.

Meh.


[Please pardon my liberality with sentence structure in this post.  I am feeling considerably more colloquial than loquacious tonight.]