And … I don’t know how to process it.
It was off to a great start this morning…I had some lovely worship/soaking time with God; I had a dance party; I made some tea and French toast. I hung out with my siblings (all of them) when they got home from school, and that was good, too. I did some sketching, which I haven’t done in awhile. My mother brought me home a massive bunch of fabulous helium balloons. We went to my dad’s apartment (all of us, and it wasn’t awkward at all, which was really good) and had real grilled steak and garlic mashed potatoes and sweet potato casserole with marshmallows for dinner. We watched The Help and my birthday cake was confetti cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, which is a new thing for me on birthdays (having in previous years had cream cheese pie, until it started being less of a birthday thing and more of a regular holiday dessert) and supremely tasty. I got some chocolate (the expensive foreign-sounding stuff) as a present. A few dozen people left me birthday messages via text and Facebook, many quite personally complimentary and sweet.
And that’s about it.
Maybe I’m just lonely? I wanted to do something, actually do something for my birthday, not just watch it go by like my birthdays usually do. This year my birthday coincided with college spring break, though—which would have been neat if I myself were in school, but I’m not. So my friends all had plans already. I miss them a lot.
I thought I could make it into a special day by doing nice things. But that just makes it a nice day.
It was a nice day—a really nice day. But it wasn’t…I don’t know. I guess I was expecting more. I don’t know what. Good grief, I didn’t even drink any alcohol—not like I wanted to party or whatever, but it is my 21st birthday. My next “milestone” birthday isn’t until I turn 40, and that probably won’t be anything to be excited about.
It was a very nice birthday. But it wasn’t a special one, I guess. And I’m sad. I’m so sorry, but I’m sad on the night of my birthday, and I don’t have anything else to say right now.
(Internet Hug) I love you a whole bunch, and I'm sad that you were sad on the night of your birthday. That really sucks. :( We'll have to hang out when I come to Kzoo for the weekend in a week or two. :)
ReplyDelete