Encounter with Eccentric Talkative Person #237: Jamaican dude in a striped sweater that made me think of chocolate. (It was ivory-and brown-striped, and it made me think of the half-white chocolate striped Hershey's Hugs.)
The Gull Road Wal-Mart Metro Transit bus stop.
It was too cold to stand outside next to the old ladies who were smoking, so I wandered into the little glass partition and seated myself on the black metal bench (which was beyond icy; I was glad I had a long coat).
He was hunched over his phone, but he was hanging up as I got there.
For the purposes of this blog reenactment, I will refer to him as The Over-Friendly Jamaican Guy (OFJG).
He had a pretty thick accent (which was flipping sweet, but also means you need to use your imagination and insert me saying "Sorry, what?" after 85% of his sentences).
OFJG: Allo!
Me: Hi.
OFJG: Ah you a student? (points at my bag)
Me: Yeah, at KVCC.
OFJG: Me too! What you major in?
Me: I don't have a major yet. I'm thinking I'll probably go into English.
OFJG: Oh! I do nossing.
Me: Nothing?
OFJG: (laughs) No, nossing, not nossing!
Me: (befuddled look)
OFJG: Nossing! (finally pulls out his phone and types "nursing".)
Me: (slightly embarrassed) Oh! Nursing. Cool.
OFJG: (nods, points at old ladies smoking outside.) Do you smoke?
Me: (wide-eyed) No.
OFJG: You drink?
Me: (awkward laugh) Oh, no!
OFJG: Ah you mahrried?
Me: Er, no.
OFJG: (shocked) Oh, you not mahrried?! Why not?!
Me: I don't think I'm old enough yet, I guess.
OFJG: Oh? This yoa first year in college? You live with your parents?
Me: (nod)
OFJG: When you plan on getting mahrried? You want to graduate first and den get mahrried?
Me: Um, probably.
OFJG: You go for master's degree, den? Long time?
Me: i don't know yet. It depends on what I decide to major in.
OFJG: (knowing nod) Ah. You have a boyfriend?
Me: No, not yet.
OFJG: (again, shocked) What? Why not?
Me: Um...I've never been asked, I guess.
OFJG: Oh! Why you never been asked? You don't know?
Me: No, not really.
OFJG: (shakes head in despair) You don't know. Ah. What's yoa name?
Me: Kiersten.
OFJG: Koastah?
Me: KEER-sten.
OFJG: Oh! Oh! KEA-stin. Nice name.
Me: Thank you. What's yours?
OFJG: My name is Abie. "A" for "opera", and "B" for baseball. Easy to remember, yah?
Me: (totally confused by "A" is for "opera") Yup, easy to remember!
(long, quasi-awkward pause)
Me: (spotting the bus pulling in across the parking lot) Oh! Are you taking the bus?
OFJG: Yes, of course I take da bus! Do you have a phone?
(I politely declined to give him my number, and then his phone rang, and our conversation was halted.)
I passed him in the hallway at school later, and he was like, "HEY, MON!" but I didn't see him afterwards.
It was a highly entertaining and quite unforgettable encounter, and I have very much enjoyed regaling it all day. I wish you were here so I could do it in person for you.
I have that problem (the not understanding well) at CFA a lot.... The kitchen people are all of Mexican descent or are Mexican which means 99.9% of them do not speak much English. When they come up to me to get their employee meals I always screw it up. But I'm learning Spanish now. Sounds like fun though :)
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